Steps to Self-Care

What does self-care really mean?

Put simply, self-care is the choices you make to take care of your mind and your body.

It’s an ongoing maintenance practice that enables you to be at your best, in your thoughts, in your emotions and in your body. When you make time to engage in regular acts of self-care you flourish and find that you are well-equipped to live life to the fullest and to manage the challenges that each day can bring.

What self-care actions should I be taking?

Awareness

The most important action you can take is to become aware.

Our bodies and minds are sending us messages all the time but so often in our race to get on with life we choose to ignore them. Awareness begins when we take time to really notice what’s going on for us, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Your body and mind have infinite wisdom and know you inside out. We can trust in that.

Checking-in

Making the time to regularly check-in with yourself will bring a host of benefits.

Physically checking-in

This process is two-fold. Firstly, you can scan your body for any areas of tightness and tension and then perhaps perform a progressive muscle relaxation to relieve the stored tension. Secondly, you can learn to notice the subtle body cues you experience throughout each day e.g. a sense of lightness in your shoulders, a change in the pace of your speech or becoming aware that your hands are now gripping each other tightly.

These changes are not accidental, they are a physical response to a change in your environment. Something or someone is causing you to react in this way. By identifying what or who is triggering your response you increase your awareness and can choose to take action to mitigate unhelpful reactions.

Emotionally checking-in

This might be asking yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” then reflecting on the answer before considering the next question, “What would help me?” or perhaps, “What needs to change?”

It’s important when considering these questions to remember that your feelings are transient, like clouds, and that even the most unpleasant feelings will pass with time. By looking at your feelings objectively you can use them as signposts that can help you to identify what the next steps are that you should be taking.

Spiritually checking-in

You may wish to consider the strength of your connections, to yourself and to the natural environment. You may consider “Am I living in alignment with my beliefs and values?” “Am I feeling grounded and connected today?” “What can I do to nourish myself and experience peace once more?”

The benefits of checking-in

These self-awareness practices throughout your day helps you to not only become more aware of how you are feeling and what you need but also provides space for you to make the necessary small shifts to realign and rebalance yourself before things get out of hand. Using this approach, a setback or unexpected response does not grow to hijack your wellbeing for the day. Instead, you see it, deal with it, adjust, and move on.

How should I begin?

Start small.

Why?

Small habits are manageable.

They are small enough to fit into your daily routine without causing disruption or putting pressure on other commitments.

Small habits are easier to sustain.

You don’t need high levels of motivation to do one stretch, take one mindful breath or drink one glass of water.

Small habits are portable.

You don’t need to be at home to maintain them.

Small habits help build consistency.

Consistency matters. Engaging in a habit consistently builds a new neural pathway for that behaviour in your brain. Over time, this habit moves from being a conscious action to a subconscious one. Then you just do it, because that’s what you do.

Small habits have room to grow.

Once you’ve established the habit it becomes easy to grow. One rep becomes two, then five, then ten. A mindful breath shifts to five minutes mindful breathing over time. The hard work was establishing the pattern. Once that has been achieved you discover not only how easy it is to maintain the small habit but also how much better you feel, and in that moment the motivation to grow your habit is born.

Be practical

By choosing a self-care habit that is practical for you to implement, in terms of cost, time and effort you significantly increase the likelihood of it becoming an integral part of your daily routine.

Be responsive

You may find that your chosen act of self-care becomes less helpful or nurturing for you over time. This may be a sign that you are growing; in awareness, outlook or understanding, all of which are positive steps forward. You can honour this growth by reflecting then perhaps choosing a replacement act of self-care that feels more meaningful for you at this time.

Be kind to yourself

We all have days when we don’t follow through on everything. Self-care is no different. If you miss a day or more don’t give up, or speak harshly to yourself. Remember every day is a new opportunity to begin again.

Summary

Self-care comprises the choices you make each day that influence your wellbeing.

It’s not a single act, but a regular, ongoing practice that enables you to flourish and to meet life’s ups and downs with greater ease.

By practising awareness and cultivating your inner wisdom you can grow in understanding of how to meet your own needs and restore your inner balance.

There are four steps to growing your self-care practice; start small, be practical, recognise and respond to growth and be kind to yourself.

Reflection

Self-care is listening, choosing, then listening again.

It’s a lifelong journey of nurture and growth.

It’s what you deserve, one choice at a time.