It’s not something we often stop to consider in our busy lives, but perhaps we should. The value we place on our values, skills and strengths has a huge impact upon the way we experience and manage everyday life. Your opinion of yourself, together with your beliefs about your strengths and your weaknesses, co-creates your self-esteem.
High or low self-esteem?
People with positive self-esteem feel more positive about themselves and life in general. When difficult situations arise they tend to meet them with confidence. When things go wrong they are resilient. That resilience is shown by their ability to draw upon their own inner resources and understanding of their own self-worth. They meet their challenges head on, secure in the knowledge that downturns are temporary and upswings will inevitably follow.
In contrast, low self-esteem casts a more negative and critical light upon the individual, their life and circumstances. Challenges seem more threatening and less easy to overcome.
So how would you know if your self-esteem is low?
Read on to discover if these statements resonate with you:
- You apologise frequently, even when you are not to blame.
- You have difficulty in saying “no”.
- You rely on others to help you make decisions.
- You rely on others approval in order to feel good about yourself.
- You spend a significant amount of time criticising yourself.
- You take on the problems and responsibilities of other people without even thinking about it.
- You strive to do everything perfectly, all the time.
- You have difficulty in receiving praise or compliments.
- You feel shame or guilt intensely.
What can you do about low self-esteem?
Look after your body.
Following a healthy diet and prioritising daily exercise will release endorphins, the “feel good” hormones, which will in turn raise your happiness levels and help you to view life and yourself more positively.
Make time to relax.
Relaxation and stress cannot exist at the same time. By choosing to relax, you will notice that you start to feel more positive and more energised, more “you”.
Set achievable goals for each day.
This action will not only increase your productivity but also boost your personal satisfaction as you tick them off as the day progresses. (Do remember that there will be days when not every goal is achieved, and that’s okay too.)
Surround yourself with positive people.
People with a positive outlook who appreciate you for who you are an asset.
People who make you feel unworthy, unintelligent, unappreciated or misunderstood will add to any existing feelings of unworthiness. It is a good idea to limit the amount of time you spend in the company of friends, co-workers or family who make you feel this way.
Treat yourself as a friend.
Just as you would be supportive, kind and understanding towards a friend, you can extend that same respect and understanding to yourself.
Accept yourself as you are.
You are good enough and of inestimable value as you are. You do not need to be perfect.
Being you is enough.
Pause to decide if you really want to say “yes”.
You do not have to agree to everything that is suggested. If you find it difficult not to say yes immediately, you may choose to suggest that you take a little time to reach your decision.
Remember “no” is a complete sentence.
Acknowledge your own skills.
Celebrate the areas in which you excel and take time to reflect on these during times when you are feeling self-critical.
Challenge your negative thinking.
When you find yourself beginning to become self-critical, pause to consider if these thoughts are founded on reality or just emotion. Can you support these self-criticisms with real facts ?
Spend time considering and establishing healthy boundaries within your relationships.
You will find your emotional energy will be strengthened and the quality of your relationships will change positively too.
Do you need more support?
Hypnotherapy can help increase your self-esteem by working, through your subconscious mind,to change the negative thoughts and beliefs that cause you to devalue yourself. In their place you will develop positive and helpful beliefs that will support you in maintaining healthy self-esteem for the rest of your life.
Contact me today to find out more.